Wednesday, December 24, 2014

[gita-talk] Isolation since becoming engaged in Bhajan


As I have become more involved in worship of God,  I find that my family gets less and less invitations from friends etc.   I want to clarify that this is not something that is very bothersome to me personally, and I see it as more time and opportunity for bhajan.   But,  the rest of the family is feeling isolation from the friends, get-together,   fun events,  holiday celebrations etc.   The family members do need some form of recreation,   how do I help make my family member's lives more satisfying?  

Please help !  



Worshiping God through Bhajans and other methods are definitely good. Helping family members live more satisfying by visiting friends and relatives is also a form of worship. You have now got a great opportunity to serve God by practicing equanimity (seeing everything as equal and not having likes and dislikes. This is a step forward towards freedom from Sansara while being in the Sansara world. This is what the Jeevanmukta saints do to reach salvation. So, you can do the same by giving company to your family members when they visit friends and relatives and while doing so think about God and do bhajana mentaly in your mind. God will accept that way of living as your worship. Thank you for asking this question for me to think about this. I now know that I should also practice myself the advice I am giving you as a form of worship and for attaining equanimity without pursuing any like and dislike of my own by denying greater satisfaction that my family members may need as far as I can. Basudeb Sen


OM Vaasudevaaya NamaH,
BhagavadGita suggests....
YuktaAhara Vihaarasya YuktaChestasya Karmasu |
YuktaSwapnAvabodhasya YogoBhavatiDukhaHa   || (6/17)

niteesh kd

dear Sadaks,
Divert your family members in listening & seeing videos of holy scripts. Then they will not only understand you but also support you.
B.Sathyanarayan- Chennai.


Keshav Rao
I have been following a similar line of thought over the last few years,  yet feel that I have some duty towards the family, and seeing them happy and at peace.   
thank you, 

Become established in God or Self.  Do not worry about the thoughts in the mind (such as concern for family's entertainment etc)  and the world (isolation etc).   This is all inevitable sooner or later,  as it is the nature of the world to move away from you (self)   Family will take care of itself and adjust to its new situation.   Renounce, become detached from both (mind and world).   Be at Peace.  Be Happy ! All is well.    

Keshav Rao


J b goradia
Yes,  my basic needs pertaining to God and worship are satisfactory,  though I long for the yearning that Mirabai had and the intimate relationship she had with God
Thank you,  


Your definition of God and its worship - does it satisfy your basic needs?
j b goradia

Hari Om

Thanks Anamikaji for your response.

There is nothing wrong in your conduct as narrated- in fact it is perfect conduct. Your anxiety that others may not be happy will go away with time. Others also will not be able to find fault with you, in medium to long run. Water will make its own way. The others in family will get used to life in their own way, even without you. But you have to stop worrying about them too much. So long as you are doing your household duties diligently with an emotion that it is work of God's home - be certain you are shielded by God in all respects. You have to check why this thought arises in you that others "may " not be happy with you ( refer word " it is possible " used by you)  - this thought is more representative of your perception about others' perception of you. They respect you internally but like you , may not prefer to talk with you on the same. 

Now you want to see them happy - hence occasionally accompany them going to movies / eating out at restaurants but keeping a total aloofness / disinterest inside you for the same. There is nothing wrong in BHOG ( enjoyment of worldly pleasures) so long you are detached from inside. Do that, just for one cause - to make others happy. It becomes an austerity then. Look- no body likes to go to hospital but when duty demands , one should go. Similarly, No body wants to fight war, but when situation is such ( as was with Arjuna in Mahabharata War) , one has to fight. But that fight has to take place in EQUANIMITY. Great Kings like Janaka, indulged in all worldly affairs, in BHOG but they were equanimous from inside. You said you are reading Gita - Sadhak Sanjeevani . Now what does Gita say ? It says if you are equanimous , unselfish , then even if you kill the whole world, you shall not incur sin. As against this example of " killing the whole world", what is the significance of going to movies , watching TV or talking about that which the world likes to ? Sure- when it comes to "eating food" , you should not compromise, but on other issues you may practice doing that - without attachment. That will be acid test for you, known only to you. 

In any case, as I told in first para- the world is most likely to move on happily in its own way without any dislike or disrespect for you. It is a law- Everybody ( Scriptures, Saints, God, World, Nature - all included) ultimately ends up helping that person who has turned towards God or who has decided for his / her emancipation ! Now this is LAW. As you get more and into spirituality, you will find this law to be true more and more in you life. Have belief,  have trust in the path of spirituality. A time will come, when you will have enemy, no person hating you, no person blaming you. You will find more and more people following you/ toeing your line ( but do not wish that ) 

Jai Shree Krishna

Vyas N B 

For Vyas N B 
I try to do all my daily house work as worship of God.  It is possible that my ways may be restrictive to all others around me,  since I do not watch much TV,  or movies, or eating out at restaurants.  Also I do have some dietary restrictions limiting what I can eat outside.  I spending a reasonable amount of time in reading Bhagawad Gita Sadhak Sanjeevani and other lectures and discourses, and little time in news, news papers, novels etc.   I prefer solitude and do not like to talk too much.  All in all,  there is little to talk with others about anything else besides spiritual matters.   So far the family and friends are not inclined towards spirituality,  Gita or God.   I would like to see them all happy.     

Thank you for your reply 

Hari Om

Your message does not suggest precise reasons of the isolation of your family and their getting lesser invitations. How your doing bhajan has any co-relationship with rest of your family not getting mixed with the friends, fun events etc ? Is your method of getting " more involved in worship of a God" , so restrictive to all others that they can not do holiday celebrations, fun events etc ? In what manner you are "more involved in worship of God " ? What causes dissatisfaction to them ? Unless you elucidate further, no useful answer can emanate.

Jai Shree Krishna

Vyas N B 



One has to perform his Karma.The Karma is taking care of family first.When one human being born on the earth, one has to complete the cycle.Born-grow-Nurture family-End of the life.
So is the reason,people in earlier age go to the forest at the end of their age to achieve Mukthi.Until then,one has to take care of family.It is one's Karma.
Extend of you being with family is individual yard stick.As long as you pray God and do good deeds,God be always with oneself.
In Hinduism,God never tells you did not pray either Bhajan or any other means.In temple,they conduct pooja for 5 times.
If you pray 5 times,that is nice.If you pray one time and busy with your family taking care of children or being with relative is the same as praying 5 times.

You can get benefit by donating your wealth to others.However you will get more benefit when they leave some their wealth to the kith and kin.
Praying God helps you but not at the sacrifice of being with family.


this message is not clear to me.   
का उत्तर : 
प्रकटमें (जो परिवारके सदस्यों और मित्रोंको दिखायी दे) वैसा ही करें जैसा isolation feel करनेके पहले शरीरसे करते थे और अप्रकटमें (जो परिवारके सदस्यों और मित्रोंको दिखायी नहीं दे) वही (साधन) करें जो स्वयं करना चाहें। स्पष्टत: शरीरसे होनेवाली क्रियायें ही परिवारके सदस्यों और मित्रोंको दिखायी देंगी किन्तु अप्रकटमें (अंदरमें) क्या चल रहा है वह उन्हें (परिवारके सदस्यों और मित्रोंको) दिखायी ही नहीं देगा। वहीं (अंदरमें) सारा जोर लग सकता है कारण शरीरसे तो संसारकी ही चाकरी (सेवा) करी जा सकती है (और करनी भी है), स्वयंकी नहीं। इधर तो यही अनुभव है।  
बस इतना ही कहा था। 


this message is not clear to me.   Anaamika


आप प्रत्यक्षमें तो more involved से पहलेकी स्थितिमें लौट आयें (जिस स्थितिमें परिवारके अन्य सदस्योंको मित्रों आदिसे invitations प्राप्त हो रहे थे और वे सनुष्ट रहते थे कि खूब get-together, fun events, holiday celebrations आदिका आनंद ले रहे हैं) किन्तु अप्रत्यक्षमें (बाहरी व्यक्ति यही समझें कि आप अब उतने भजनमें नहीं हैं अर्थात less involved हैं) अपने भजन और बढ़ा दें तो काम बन जायगा। 
परिवारके सदस्योंको get-together, fun events, holiday celebrations आदि करानेकी चिंता सहित स्वयंका भजन चल पाता है, जानकर आश्चर्य हुआ। हमारा भजन तो कैसी भी चिंता लगते ही अटक जाता है। क्या करें?  


Hari Om
Dear Sadhak Notesav,
as per your saying :
If you are interested in "thinking divine" then you can write to moderator, and I will
share with you "the how" or the method. This method is a copyright under my name and I have 
published a paper in Hindi. If you need a copy of this Hindi-paper then I will send it to you.
Request you to please share the paper / method, by which we can only keep on thinking the name of the Lord.
Day to day activities take our mind away from the Divine name. This would really be helpful to all of us and you would also get everybodys good blessings.
Thank you.

राम राम श्री गीता-वार्ता समन्वयक महोदय! 
कृपया श्री Notesav जी प्रणीत ''the How'' पेपरका हिंदी संस्करण मुझे मेल कीजिये। 
बहुत उत्सुकता जाग रही है। 



Dear Sadak Member,

Getting into bhajans are very good things which should not preclude you from your social activities.
It may be that you may be spending too much time in bhajans and less time for other activities.
Please take a look at your daily calender and make some changes if you desire.

Or, take your bhajans into your thinking and this way, in one, you will be able to do
your bhajans all the time (and no one will know about it), two, all your bhajans will reach
divine, and three, you will have lot more time for your social activities. If you are interested in
"thinking divine" then you can write to moderator, and I will
share with you "the how" or the method. This method is a copyright under my name and I have 
published a paper in Hindi. If you need a copy of this Hindi-paper then I will send it to you.

Good Luck!




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