Saturday, November 30, 2013

[gita-talk] The Bhagavad Gita - Daily Message - 13/21

 

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||  Shree Hari ||



II  13:21  II

 
puruṣaḥ prakṛtistho hi bhuṅkte prakṛtijānguṇān
kāraṇaṁ guṇasaṅgo'sya sadasadyonijanmasu
 
Purusha (Self) seated in Prakriti (Nature) experiences the Gunas (modes of Nature) born of Prakṛiti; attachment to the Gunas becomes the cause of its birth in good and evil wombs.
Comment:
'I' is insentient (Prakṛiti) and 'AM' is sentient (Puruṣha). 'I AM'-- this is the identification of the sentient with the insentient. In 'I AM', resides the sense of doer-ship and enjoyer-ship. If an aspirant abandons 'I' then 'AM' will not remain but 'IS' will persist.  For example-- when there is a piece of iron in the fire, there is no identification of a piece of iron with fire, so the piece of iron remains lying on the earth while fire from this hot piece of iron merges into the formless fire-element, similarly 'I' persists in Prakṛiti and 'AM' (being a form of 'IS') merges into 'IS'. Nothing is mine and I do not indeed need anything-- having full faith in these two things, 'AM' merges completely in 'IS'. This means that 'I' (insentient) merges in inert and 'AM' (sentient) merges in Self. In this way, the knot between insentient and sentient is broken and then there is nothing remaining except pure 'IS'. There is neither doer-ship nor enjoyer-ship in 'I'. It means that 'I AM' is what is attracted towards pleasures and not 'IS. 'I AM' becomes the doer and enjoyer and 'IS' does not become the doer and enjoyer. Therefore an aspirant instead of assuming 'I AM' should accept only 'IS' and should experience it.
The Gunas (modes of Nature)-- Sattva, Rajas and Tamas do not bind but by  identifying with them the individual goes to higher, middle and lower wombs. The attachment to the Gunas, the individual assumes it by himself. Detachment is normal nature of the Self-'asaṅgo'hyayaṁ puruṣaḥ' (Bṛhadā: 4/13/15). If individual decides not to get attached to the Gunas, then he will not be subjected to the cycle of birth and death. 
   
Gita Prabodhani by Swami Ramsukhdasji

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Wednesday, November 27, 2013

[gita-talk] Mother - Son Relationship - Any Suggestions?

 


  • When I was young, I was traveling on rikshaw from my apartment to bus station. On the way, I decided to make phone call to my parents. I had my luggage and first, I wanted to take my luggage to phone (PCO) booth. Then, I thought that I am assuming that rickshaw driver is thief if I take my luggage. I cannot make this assumption just because he is poor. So, I left my luggage on rickshaw and went to call my parents. While I am calling, I noticed that many people have surrounded the rickshaw. No body thought that someone can leave luggage with rickshaw driver. Few elder people came to me and tried to teach me lesson that I should not do such things. In my mind, I thought that if I took luggage assuming rickshaw driver is thief, I would have lost peace of my mind. I want to trust people as good. Cost of loosing peace of my mind is much more than losing my luggage. But I heard those people as I appreciated their concern. I did not agree with them and stood by my decision. I try to lead my life with values which I have determined to be right. I think I have ability to make right decisions which are good for me and people around me.
    My mom was visiting me and she is old so I did wheel chair for her. My mom does not want me to do any work and somehow, she feels pain if I do something. I decided to carry her and my luggage and we got someone to push her wheel chair. My mom insisted that I give luggage to this person. I resisted but gave my Mom's luggage. But decided to carry my own luggage. If I have ability to do my own work, I don't want others to do it. My mom kept on nagging me to give my luggage to the person who was pushing the wheel chair. I explained my mother that I am fine carrying my own luggage and I feel happy doing my own work. She still insisted even though I begged her not to insist. My mom was in pain because I was carrying my luggage. I was uncomfortable if I gave my luggage to wheel chair driver. I was uncomfortable as my Mom kept on insisting and I was not following her instructions. Both of us became unhappy.
    My mother keeps on insisting me to do things which she thinks are good for me. She thinks that me not doing anything physically hard work is good. She does not want me to work hard in the yard as she thinks it is job of laborer. She states what is the use of getting such a high education if you will do such menial work. She does not feel happy if I wash pots or cook food or help out at household chores. She does not even feel happy if I take care of my kids which my wife is supposed to do. My view is that I had kids and it is my duty to take care of them. If my wife does not do something for the kids, I do for them. I don't need to force my wife to do something when I can do it. If I believe that parents should do something for the kids, I do it. That way I will have satisfaction that I did the best. That mental satisfaction is much more important for me even if I have to do some extra work at home. Things which she wants me to do won't take away my mental peace. I can't do them. I don't want to fight with my wife and loose peace of my mind. I don't mind doing extra physical work for my kids. I am unhappy because my mom keeps on asking me things which I can't do. My mom is unhappy because she thinks that I am suffering even though I am not.
    I ask my Mom to tell me what will give her happiness. She does not ask me to do anything for her. At the age of 70, she does all her work. She does not want me to do anything for her happiness. She wants to me to do things which she thinks will give me happiness. Unfortunately, she does not know what will give me happiness and she asks for wrong things. She feels sad when I do things which she does not want me to do. I tell her that she should trust me that I know what will give me happiness. I am grown up and that trust that I have ability to make right decision for my life is important. My mom's confidence over me will boost my own confidence. Unfortunately, neither she is happy nor I am happy. We are good people and we deserve to be happy. My mom is good person and she deserves to be happy. I wish that if my mom can stop worrying about me and start trusting me, then both of us can be much more happier. She has too much attachment to her children and this too much love can harm the children as parents become over-protective and don't give independence to their children. They want to control their lives and want to give them best. If my mom can let go of her attachment, then we both will be happy.
    I don't know if this group can help but wrote my thoughts as I am sad. If you feel appropriate, please post this to forum.

    At His feet in service,
    G B
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Shree Hari 

It may be worth reading through -  How to Lead a Household Life.  There are many invaluable tips in this book for everyone.  


Meera Das  
Ram Ram  

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Have no insistence.  It works like magic.  As indicated in an earlier post,  other's rights become your duty.  Keeping that in mind,  seek guidance from God.  Ask for Help,  you will surely get it.    Sarita

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always remember that dont keep on worrying that you dont have shoes
and think of those who dont have legs and be happy and thank god

you are really great, carry on dont bend others are others and you are
you, remember no body is like you in this world of 700 crore people
you are unique dont feel inferior if somebody says something this
world is like that, what ever you people will remark and ACHON KO BURA
SABITH KARNA DUNIYA KI PURANI ADAT HAI
god bless you


swamiji -  Swami Krishnanand 

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शायद ईश्वर इस समस्याके माध्यमसे आपके द्वारा आपके अपने बारेमें  
कुछ विशेष खोज कराना चाहते हैं। कुछ समयके लिये माँका कहना मान
कर देखिये (physical work न करनेके संबंधमें), यदि फिर भी वे प्रसन्न
(happy) नहीं रहतीं तो आप उन्हें कैसे भी प्रसन्न नहीं रख सकेंगे। 
अस्तु। 
सविनय,
साधक 

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dear sadaks,
Just let mother do what she want and keep quite. She is clearing her Karma by serving you, even if you object. Who is stimulating her with thoughts. One`s own karma works as SMS of the past life. You need to remain calm and happy, but obey mother.
B.S.


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Dear GBji,
I think you should pray to Godt o give your mother non attachment. Because attachement is like manthara, the servant of Kaikeyi.

Hari Malla

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My response also is coming in the form of question. "Can you see how much attached are you to your ideals and actions?"
Regards
Veena

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I eat nutritious food. My wife does not spend much time cooking. Many times I cook food. But then, I take short cuts to eat healthy and nutritious food. My mom keeps on asking what did I eat. Generally, I don't have much to tell as we don't eat anything special. One Saturday morning she asked me and I replied that we ate milk and nutritious cereal. Then, she immediately said that my wife used to cook something special for family on Saturdays. I could noy say anything. She put negative thought against my wife in my mind. I am ordinary person and for few hours, I kept on thinking negative about my wife and became upset. 
I have got very powerful blender and I make quite nutritious shakes and smoothies for me and kids. They are quick and easy to make while they provide necessary nutrition. I feel good when I make them for the kids. When I explained to her how I make nutritious smoothies and how nicely I take care of kids, she did not show any appreciation. She want me to eat good food but when I tell her about good food which we are eating, she does not get happy. What will give her happiness is my wife spending hours in kitchen and make difficult Indian food! I can't solve that problem. If I do something like myself cooking to help family eat nutritious food, then it is not appreciated. 
As we grow older, our metabolism reduces and we need to eat less. So, I am gaining some fat and I am trying to eat less. My mom wants me to eat more rotis and offers me sweets. Eating more is actually harmful to me and artificial sugar is like white poison. I explain to her that eating less is good for me. Still, she is unhappy that I eat less. For my happiness, she wants me to eat more. But she cannot understand that I will get more diseases if I eat more. Ayurveda states that one should leave space for 1 roti in the stomach. Ayurveda knew that over-eating is unhealthy and one should eat one roti less than what will make stomach full. My mom will be happy if I do over-eating. Making her happy will actually make me obese and unhealthy. I know that she does not want me to get sick. I can't follow her. She is sad that I eat less food. I am sad because she is asking me to do something which I can't follow. Both of us are sad.

Thanks,
Goura Bola

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Dears Sadhak,

Tell your mother that you have been asked by Doctor to eat less otherwise you need to face health problem in future (say sth like you have gone for  a blood test and your sugarreadings are not good.).

Tell her claerly that its doctor recommendation otherwise you would have eat more.

I am sure no Mother will say that dont follow the doctor in case of his child health.

Jai Shri Ram

Amit G

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Dear Sadhak
Thank you for writing in details with example.The difference is due to the mind set.Though you are correct,your mom is unable to accept at this moment.It is good that you are telling the facts to your mom.Now you need to have faith in your actions and continue doing the right things.Your mom would understand your view point very soon and will be proud of you.
Please continue with unconditional love towards your mother and wife both.You will soon find better solutions.
I will be happy to know further,
Best Regards   

Hasmukh Patel

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