Wednesday, June 12, 2013

[gita-talk] Re: How should I look at Marriage? Attachment and Marriage


Dear all

I have been pondering on this issue since a long time and haven't been able to

Happiness is internal and it doesn't have to depend on anything external.

But once you are in a relationship like marriage- how much attachment is fair.
Can non attachment be practiced in a marriage ?

I am not married and am under the impression that marriage or a relationship
does bring some attachment. Is it fair ? Is dependency on the other person fair

How should I look at marriage ? Please share your thoughts on the same.


Ananya Vetaal


Marriage is the opportunity to serve God in your wife and God in your children if you have them. It means to enjoy and be happy with them. Ideally, all family members should give happiness to each other and magnify their goodness and incomplete their shortcomings.

This is also test. You can't cheat those who are close to you (wife and kids). They will know who you are. So, just be happy and give happiness to others.

The detachment which will make others life boring, dull and depressed is of much use and surely, it will not give any spiritual benefit.

Murari Das


From personal experience : Concentrate on giving her (pleasure, satisfaction and sukh) only, instead of drawing (these worldly things) from her, question of attachment or no attachment will not arise.


There is no hard and fast rule for the school of marriage, it was
prescribed 1000 years back for so many years, one is to reach god
together, any holy rites to be performed woman, wife should be present
to offer oblations to god, but to day it has become selfish, no
selfless relation, so your doubt has some ambiguity ...attachment is
developed not in built


Interesting question Ananya...

Once you understand and experience Self and wisdom of life, possibility of living a blissful life with anyone, anywhere.. It is about playing roles keeping self awareness.. It is about living in joy and happiness....
Attachment and dependency on each other does not really bother..

Marriage is a normal but beautiful happening and brings two people together to participate in the larger ongoing wonderful creation process, where interdependency and attachment is nothing but expression of love, affection, respect, care for the other... In the process, you create joy for others too...

Wish you a great time... God bless you..

Sushil Jain


Bhagwad _Geeta considers marriage as Yagna karma i.e. other human beings can take birth because of marriage. We are also product of marriage. Chapter 3 Verse 10 and 11 read like this; Sahayaganaha Prajaha Shrushtwa, Purovacha Prajapatihi, Anena Prasvishyadhwam, Esaha Vo Asti Ishta Kamdhuk.(10) Devan Bhavyataha Anena, Te Devaha, Bhavyantu Vaha, Parasparam Bhavyantaha, Shreyam param Avapyasthaha.
(11). Meaning is Prajapati Brahma has created people as Yagna Karya i.e. as God's work and ordained people to marry and multiply. While doing so, you will be invoking divine within and without by respecting each other and thereby you will reach the ultimate in this case attachment if any at the time of marriage will be transformed into divine relationship. Such is the Spiritual Goal of marriage as seen by Bhagwad Geeta.

India's idol both Rama and Krishna were married and especially in case of Rama he became a living example of Divinity in the life of a king. By Rama that Ramayana which has been dealt with by Goswami Tulsidasji.

In case performance of sexual act becomes inevitable because of any reason, then sex with one's own wife or husband is described as Dharma. It creates stable social order.Ch.7 Verse 11, states that Dharma Avirdhhaha Bhuteshu, kamaha asmi Bhratarshbha i.e.. sexual act with one's own married partner is in accordance with work of upholding Dharma.
Entire Bhagwad Geeta when read with depth and in conjunction with other authorised scriptures, considers marriage as one of seven Sanskaras which are divine. This does not mean that institution of Sanyasis, is in contradiction to teachings of Bhagwad Geeta. It only shows Spiritual necessity of marriage and by working according to its dictates in subsequent chapters, it converts attachment if any before or after marriage into perfect divinity.

Jayantilal Shah


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